Since we first started casting, I have jollied J along making the trip to the hospital a big adventure: we look at lorries from the car, sing to the radio, greet everyone with smiles, take "froggy" in the pushchair to watch, have a sausage afterwards and look at the pictures of animals in the foyer - it's all part of our trip. J is very used to it all now and anticipates the different things we do. Today he got hold of the broom in the cafe and swept the whole place (under the tables, everywhere) much to the amusement of the other diners and staff.
What I haven't done is to tell J *why* he needs the cast in the first place. So I've started telling him in very simple terms.
Both last night and this morning, he listened intently with a serious face (it may be that my face was more serious as I was concentrating and his reflected that - but I also think he was really listening).
Not quite sure of my exact words but I said his back is a little bent and needs help. Just as mummy wears glasses to drive to help me see and Roy needs a stick sometimes to help him walk, his back needs a little help and that's why he wears a cast - to help his back.
Until his language it at a stage where he can tell me what he thinks and ask questions, we won't know what he actually understands from what I say, but we'll keep revisiting the "why" about casting.
His scoliosis is a significant element of our lives and will be for a long while yet (maybe (probably?) with lifetime implications) and I'd like him to start to understand more about it.
The adoption websites talk about not making telling kids a big deal (different issue, but useful approach I think). So I want to keep it matter of fact.
I like the fact that choosing the colour of the cast, for example, gives him a little power over what's happening (he chose the red again today - blue last time - he's never chosen the purple or neon pink). Having a cast is nothing to hide or be ashamed of and I like the lovely bold colours.
Wear your cast with pride :-)
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