Post casting "wobble"

Every time.

Every single time.

I drop you off at the nursery after we've been to the hospital and am hit by a huge wave of emotion.

I regain my balance later in the day, but it's hard to walk into work straight away.

Why?
You always get upset when I drop you off after casting and walking out when you're so upset is hard hard hard. You don't usually get upset on "normal" work days- we usually have a hug, say goodbye and then you are happy to get involved in what everyone else is doing. I guess it's partly the change in routine - you fell asleep today on the way back and were still quite groggy. Maybe you thought it was a non-nursery day you'd spend with mummy?

It's easier to ignore the impact of scoliosis on our lives day to day. But the hospital days bring it into sharp relief. Today I had to ask about x-rays. You're due your next one in February... but because I've chosen Oxford (that's another blog waiting to be written) and we're on a waiting list for there, we're in limbo at Birmingham. But we need to know whether your curves are getting worse, so we may need to have them at Birmingham anyway.

You were so good at the hospital today - just slight winces when the plasters caught you under your arms. Who wouldn't squirm with that? Lots of singing in the cafe afterwards. Happy, care-free "baaa-baaa-baaing".
(the video clip is from when you were singing in the car - though when you saw I was filming you said "no")

You chose a bright pink cast today - I've been silently daring you to go for that for weeks. Woe betide anyone who says "pink for girls". I think it's a really FUN colour :-)

Now we've had all the colours: red, blue, purple, neon pink...

You chose a fried egg to go with your sausage and mushrooms. Little choices - but big ones in some ways. New things for us.

We were walking down the corridor - you were hand-in-hand with mummy with froggy in your other hand - and a consultant walked past, all smart in his suit. He let out a little cough and you copied him. He turned round, smiling. It made us both smile too.

I don't feel I've had my fill of squishiness this time. I miss my squishy baby so much. Not something I talk about with others much. But it's there. It's a factor in all of this. I asked them to wait with the casting while I held you in just your nappy. Big hug. Big big big squishy hug.

They were all saying how much you've grown. That upsets me. All this precious growth and we're not "using" it with the new casting...

We had a lovely swim on Sunday. You were so happy in the water (each time you're more and more relaxed). You even kicked your legs, copying the other children in the class. You laughed so much when we "whizzed" round and round. It's a shame we won't be able to continue with the swims when you have your Oxford cast - just once every 3 months if we're lucky. But these few times we have managed it recently have been great.

You were so funny in the bath last night. We lined up all your friends (frogs, ducks, hippo, fish) on the side and some were knocked in and some were knocked out of the bath. You wanted to do it again and again. We both laughed at the frogs "weeing" in the potty.  

So little one. Back to normal now. You're in the nursery and I'm at work. I hope you have a good day. I'll see you later.