Cast number 2!

Can you believe it - it's 3 months already and J will get his second cast in Oxford tomorrow!

We've spent the last 5 days trying to pack in as many things that take advantage of being cast free as possible (swimming, soft play (where J could climb easily for a change), baths...). There have also been a plethora of vehicle-related activities. Since Friday J has sat on: a fire engine, a fork lift truck, a landrover, a go-cart, various trains and shuttle trains. Most of those it was in the driver's seat! We've seen all manner of diggers, dump trucks and cranes (they are replacing all street lights locally and so there are lots and lots of vehicles literally outside our door!).

I have lots to write. It's been such a long time since I've blogged - caused at first by a desire to forget the whole cast thing and just get on with "living". Then I did have blog entries to write, and several were started, but none were finished...

I need to get to bed now. It's such an early start tomorrow (and a long day).

J is now so aware of what's going on. He ran out of the plaster room on Friday shouting "GO AWAY" at the plaster technician who was about to remove his cast. Yet he had been excited about the saw and found the removal tickled at times (though it did seem to cause him discomfort at other times when it was nearer his lower back/tummy).

I don't know how much the fact he's 2 (and says "no" to just about everything at times) will influence proceedings tomorrow.

You have no idea how special the hugs were this weekend. Soft, squishy hugs. Totally totally different from holding a huge cast.

One blog entry I want to write is about the huge palette of emotions about the casting. Knowing (of course) that it's meant to be for the best and (we hope) will reduce the likelihood of problems from the scoliosis later. Yet being sad when I know we can't do the activities we would do (eg swim) if he didn't have it. I find it infuriating when people try to tell me that I "shouldn't" feel X or Y. I can feel what I damn well like. Indeed it's healthier to express the emotion than bottle it up or negate it. I think it has shocked a couple of people how deeply I feel the pain of knowing (and J not being fully aware yet) what impact this is having on our lives. They seem to feel the need to remind me of the good the cast is doing. That's not what I need. I chose to pursue this different kind of casting (and it took a lot of pushing!). What I really want is "yes, I understand [your pain]" and for someone to accept that I can feel lots of things at once. The negativity is only part of what I feel. Of course it is. For so much of the time I delight in J 100% and how he's enjoying his life and all he CAN do. I don't know how much this makes sense to you? It's hard to explain and it's very late at night. I'll write it again some other time.

Fingers crossed that when I write tomorrow, we will be home safe and sound and J will be back in cast without too much trauma.